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What it’s like being married to an allergy person

What it’s like being married to an allergy person

Patrick and Kortney

If you live in a big city, there are heaps of different cuisines to choose from. Sushi for lunch, Hummus and Falafel for dinner. Tomorrow some Indian. It’s great. I like it just as much as the next guy. The selection of flavours we get to choose from is bigger than ever nowadays. 

But like Jules Winnfield from Pulp Fiction who never gets to eat burgers because “his girlfriend is a vegetarian, so that pretty much makes him one too.” I hardly get to indulge in ethnic cuisines, because my wife, Kortney, has many food allergies, so that pretty much makes me allergic too.  

Kortney can’t eat sesame, nuts or soy. So she can’t have anything Asian. And since cross-contamination is a constant threat she only trusts selected eateries. The safest places to eat for her are Italian. So we eat a lot of pizza. But mostly we cook at home. Kortney is a great chef, so I don’t complain. 

Allergies are an everyday affair

The allergy topic comes up pretty much every day. I’m not going to lie, it can get exhausting. Sometimes I am jealous of couples who don’t have to think twice about grabbing a quick bite somewhere. With Kortney, we always have to plan ahead and avoid most places anyway.

But the truth is, it doesn’t really matter unless you let it. Who says we need to eat out all the time? It’s a very new development for our species that we get to have the option to eat at all these different restaurants. But does it make us happier that we can choose from dozens of different cuisines? For me personally it’s almost more of a burden when I have too many options. I get paralyzed in street food markets. So I look on the bright side, it’s good for me that our options are limited. 

Finding the balance of being married to an allergy person

Kortney chooses places that value good ingredients. Through being with her, I have become much more mindful about what’s in my food. So that’s a good thing. Also, when I go out without Kortney, I enjoy taking advantage and indulge in all of the forbidden fruits. Even though I always feel a touch guilty when I order a Pad Thai with crushed peanuts. 

So that’s my experience being married to Kortney. I try not to think about the severity of her allergies. It’s scary. And there is no point in worrying about something that you can’t change anyway. All we can do is make sure to avoid risks as much as we can, without going crazy about it. It’s a fine line. 

By Patrick 🙂

View Comments (6)
  • My husband is severely allergic to shellfish, sesame and nuts. I relate to every word you said. Thank you for sharing.

  • This is a great blog. And makes me think that I can do this, find someone who takes my allergies in stride. Thank you for sharing!!

  • If he eats “forbidden foods” when she is not with him, what are their protocols afterwards (when he is with her) to void cross-contamination and a reaction?

  • It’s so sweet that you’ve found each other. One of the things I worry about is when my so gets to dating age (he’s 13 now so I know it’s any day). I pray he finds someone that loves him enough to change their diet as well to keep him safe.

  • What a sweet post! My now-husband was lactose intolerant years before I developed it so I saw how it affected him but didn’t truly understand until years later. I was born with a few food allergies but learning how to deal with intolerances as an adult has definitely been interesting and sometimes frustrating. I’m so thankful my husband understands!


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